After going through my divorce in 2018, I lost a lot—friends, half of my time with my children, and half my family’s income. But I also lost material items that were meaningful to me. Corners of my home sat empty for months, even years, until I could replace larger items, such as a record player, cookware . . . and a desk. It was a necessary part of dividing my life from my ex’s and felt like a small price to pay to reclaim my independence. Still, it would be a while before I had everything I needed (again).
At the time, many friends were getting married. And though I was rebuilding my life in almost every imaginable way, I found myself spending tons of money on weddings and bridal showers. I was having to manage crushing financial obligations and refilling holes in my home while struggling with scheduling my new reality as a single parent. Yet I was still stretching to meet obligations that I couldn’t quite afford, such as giving wedding gifts and attending bachelorette parties and brunches—all of which had become wildly expensive. According to a 2023 study from The Knot, the average cost of a bachelorette party is roughly $1,400 (a $500 jump from 2019).
Over time, I got through it, and my home slowly took on its own shape. I bought items secondhand at thrift stores and on Facebook marketplace to save money. And while it didn’t occur to me to ask for gifts, I did wonder why it’s such an ingrained societal expectation to give people gifts during the joyous times when they’re beginning a new life with a partner—yet leave them alone in the difficult times when they’re separating from one.
Perhaps, six years after my divorce, that’s starting to change. Now, there’s a new gift registry for this exact moment: when you’ve lost half your belongings and income and you’re having to start over. It’s called Fresh Starts, and unsurprisingly, it was inspired by a divorce.
A different kind of fresh start
In 2020, Olivia March Dreizen Howell’s marriage ended. Like many, she embarked on the complicated experience of rebuilding her life. But when Howell googled resources that might assist her in her journey, she came up empty. A year later, when her sister Jenny ended her own engagement, she was faced with the same issue.
The experiences drove Howell to pursue a new idea. “After my divorce in 2019, I had an aha moment,” she tells Fast Company via email. “We celebrate weddings and babies with a registry, but in the moments we really need to restock our life, like divorce, job loss, or any brave decision and major life change, we need the support—both in the form of support items for your home and the experts who become our hype team.”
After her sister’s breakup, that idea was set in motion. “This was when we realized the power of timing and our idea, Fresh Starts Registry,” Howell says. The registry service created by the sisters is not just for divorces and separations, but also encompasses other low moments in life, like being laid off.
The sisters launched the site in August 2021 and now run the company together. Howell is CEO and head of content; Jenny Dreizen is COO and creative director. The website growth has been amazing, they say. According to Howell, while the company doesn’t collect user data, she can share that it gets between 30K and 50K unique visitors a month. The sisters also have a podcast where they talk about “brave life decisions.”
For sure, there is a sizable audience for the sisters’ business. Divorces are hardly rare: Around 700,000 people get divorced each year in the U.S. And while it may be becoming more normalized to talk about those struggles and the related financial costs (hello, oversharing on the internet!), there still aren’t that many businesses supporting people through those kinds of transitions. There are crowdfunding pages, which many people aren’t comfortable making for themselves; and besides, those sites often feel more appropriate for victims of natural disasters or sudden tragedies and illness.
Something worth celebrating
Many couples now live together long before the wedding bells ring and, as a result, already have many of the things they need for domesticity. But we still shower them with gifts and cash. It wouldn’t even occur to many of us that they don’t “need” it.
For Brandi Webb, who was a stay-at-home mom for 11 years, life after divorce was more of a challenge than she ever anticipated. With less thank $2,000 in the bank with which to start over, Webb was left raising her two kids, ages 7 and 10. Thankfully, friends invited her to come live with them, which meant uprooting her family from El Paso, Texas, to Apex, North Carolina, to do so.
“I spent the first year helping them around the house, going to therapy, and being with my boys,” she tells Fast Company. “I didn’t have money besides child support, [and] that went to food and expenses for my kids.”
Webb is incredibly grateful that she had friends willing to help her so much after her marriage ended, and she knows that’s not the norm. She says she wishes people understood how tough it is to ask for help after a divorce, “especially financially,” and says she was glad to see that someone created a registry where that need can be addressed in “one place.”
That’s exactly what the sisters wanted. Howell says the registry “eliminates the overwhelm of making decisions while restocking your home and life.” The site has pre-built “bundles” for living rooms, kitchens, kids’ rooms, and more—plus “vetted products broken down by price points.” Also, the registry is available everywhere because it’s powered by Amazon.
The sisters say that right now, it’s mostly women who are using the registry to lend support to one another. Dreizen says they are hoping to see it expand to an even bigger demographic. “We are eager to shake up society further and let everyone know that they are worthy of support,” she says.
We’d say that is definitely something worth celebrating.
